12.09.2009
Ugh
There was literally mold growing in the keyboard that I politely chose not to use in the computer lab this morning. Are you fucking serious? I'm coming to like, my wits end. People officially have no shame.
12.02.2009
12.2.09
I wrote this at work today...god damn you Public Safety
For the past few years I have been trying to express, in a way that I consider adequate, the distinct concern that I have with humanity. I say huanity in the way that the existence of the Earth denotes humanity. It's not decidedly "societal" in the present contemporary sense; or from a particularly psychological perspective--any perspective really. It's much deeper and farther from my capture than any -ism can express to the extent that I need it to.
I have a concern that isn't "contemporary" issues in society" but my "method" is not to discern, as many people have in the past, what life is and how it works. When you think about the ways in which irregularities don't matter, we all have a pretty similar view of how the world works. Cultural differences aside, social deviance ignored, and that woman on the train who was offending the immediate public with the state of her heels overlooked, every single person wakes up and does the same thing every day: exists. In what way you choose to tackle this predetermined state is completely and utterly up to you; you could even end it if you really and truly would like to.
It's this absolute essence of being very literally alive that makes everything that you, in the least informal sense, are doing everyday seem that much stupider. I'm taking absolutely no stance on this reality whatsoever and that is why I find myself hard-pressed to find an adequate way in which to convey the reason for my temperament.
THIS IS NOT A MANIFESTO
I think that the idea of a set of rules, guidelines, or even a strongly worded opinion is not something to rally around. The reasons why there are more than a few movements that do now, or have ever existed, are grounded in teh fact that all of them have a message that can and has been lived-by. I am not asking you to imagine a world in which x, y, or z. I'm not asking you to do anything at all; not even to pay particular mind to this gaggle of phrases that Ive plucked from my own and relatively important mind.
What I am going to do though, is explain a few things. I have sent a long time trying to reconcile the part of my brain that does things, like have a personality, and the part that is purely judgmental; observant. Most of all and most importantly I'm not an anything. I'm not an activist, pacifist, moody artists, in a tryst, or any other kind of occupation(-al hazard) out there. It's not a grasp at uniqueness or a morbid manifestation of an inadequacy complex; nothing quite encapsulates it and sometimes I feel I'm ahead, and sometimes I feel behind. I still have an everyday life, I don't sit and contemplate theories all day, but I may drift off into my mind on the street and miss your wave. It's like being a child; some people believe they hold the key to mankind, some think they're perspective-less dunces. I'm both of these people. I find it impossible to jump on either side because they both have a point. They only way I see to reconcile any ultimate duality is to take (and keep) both sides into consideration. Maybe this means I have commital problems or cant take initiative or don't show true interest in anything because I'm a cold, calculating, ice-bitch. Maybe I'm one of the few who has found the ability to truly see both sides of life instead of merely acknowledging the other for being an inescapably correct gunky chunk of A in my creamy YooHoo of B.
Whatever the case may be there is a calm in the back (bottom? Hidden in the middle?) of my day to day rabble that is actually more of a concern than you'd think. When a child is screaming for attention, you ignore its embarassingly trivial agenda. But if your daughter cam into your office and sat down and spoke to you softly about her most recent concern, you'd pay the fuck attention; it's the stuff horror movies are made of.
The fact that I'm not sure if this calm is a lacuna in the barbed wire that is my mind; a place of potential refuge--or the ever approaching breaking point that it's only a matter o time before I reach is not actually that important to me really. I have no desire to explore the depths (of anything to tell you the truth) particularly my mind, by meditation or treks to the tops of mountains or anything resembling an enlightenment search. I also have no ambition, however, to kill myself for lack of definitiveness or busy myself with a jewelry baggie every day just waiting for the snap to come.
"But those are only extreme cases" you say...and they are. But they're the basic difference between "being" (in the campiest sense) and well.....not. Everything else seems so....subject to change. I have no idea what I'm going to feel like about the potential career that I'm studying so hard for right now but I've got to be doing something now don't I. I may renounce art forever and only communicate in binary for the next twelve years. Don't take yourselves so seriously Columbians.
Maybe its people's ATTITUDES towards living that I have a problem with. I don't know but I don't have plans to, or even a plan for someone else to change the world which is what keeps me well and comfortably clear of any -isms that might try and creep their way into my thought process. I'm just not that invested. So who knows if I'm currently creating some all-encompassing SUPER-ISM that transcends philosophy, or if I'm just too non-commital to invest enough concern for others to generate a life option complete with rules and ditties, and meals plans and things.
Whatever you think and whatever you do, just don't be a douche.
Or do...but I'll be watching.
Not that it matters.
xx
For the past few years I have been trying to express, in a way that I consider adequate, the distinct concern that I have with humanity. I say huanity in the way that the existence of the Earth denotes humanity. It's not decidedly "societal" in the present contemporary sense; or from a particularly psychological perspective--any perspective really. It's much deeper and farther from my capture than any -ism can express to the extent that I need it to.
I have a concern that isn't "contemporary" issues in society" but my "method" is not to discern, as many people have in the past, what life is and how it works. When you think about the ways in which irregularities don't matter, we all have a pretty similar view of how the world works. Cultural differences aside, social deviance ignored, and that woman on the train who was offending the immediate public with the state of her heels overlooked, every single person wakes up and does the same thing every day: exists. In what way you choose to tackle this predetermined state is completely and utterly up to you; you could even end it if you really and truly would like to.
It's this absolute essence of being very literally alive that makes everything that you, in the least informal sense, are doing everyday seem that much stupider. I'm taking absolutely no stance on this reality whatsoever and that is why I find myself hard-pressed to find an adequate way in which to convey the reason for my temperament.
THIS IS NOT A MANIFESTO
I think that the idea of a set of rules, guidelines, or even a strongly worded opinion is not something to rally around. The reasons why there are more than a few movements that do now, or have ever existed, are grounded in teh fact that all of them have a message that can and has been lived-by. I am not asking you to imagine a world in which x, y, or z. I'm not asking you to do anything at all; not even to pay particular mind to this gaggle of phrases that Ive plucked from my own and relatively important mind.
What I am going to do though, is explain a few things. I have sent a long time trying to reconcile the part of my brain that does things, like have a personality, and the part that is purely judgmental; observant. Most of all and most importantly I'm not an anything. I'm not an activist, pacifist, moody artists, in a tryst, or any other kind of occupation(-al hazard) out there. It's not a grasp at uniqueness or a morbid manifestation of an inadequacy complex; nothing quite encapsulates it and sometimes I feel I'm ahead, and sometimes I feel behind. I still have an everyday life, I don't sit and contemplate theories all day, but I may drift off into my mind on the street and miss your wave. It's like being a child; some people believe they hold the key to mankind, some think they're perspective-less dunces. I'm both of these people. I find it impossible to jump on either side because they both have a point. They only way I see to reconcile any ultimate duality is to take (and keep) both sides into consideration. Maybe this means I have commital problems or cant take initiative or don't show true interest in anything because I'm a cold, calculating, ice-bitch. Maybe I'm one of the few who has found the ability to truly see both sides of life instead of merely acknowledging the other for being an inescapably correct gunky chunk of A in my creamy YooHoo of B.
Whatever the case may be there is a calm in the back (bottom? Hidden in the middle?) of my day to day rabble that is actually more of a concern than you'd think. When a child is screaming for attention, you ignore its embarassingly trivial agenda. But if your daughter cam into your office and sat down and spoke to you softly about her most recent concern, you'd pay the fuck attention; it's the stuff horror movies are made of.
The fact that I'm not sure if this calm is a lacuna in the barbed wire that is my mind; a place of potential refuge--or the ever approaching breaking point that it's only a matter o time before I reach is not actually that important to me really. I have no desire to explore the depths (of anything to tell you the truth) particularly my mind, by meditation or treks to the tops of mountains or anything resembling an enlightenment search. I also have no ambition, however, to kill myself for lack of definitiveness or busy myself with a jewelry baggie every day just waiting for the snap to come.
"But those are only extreme cases" you say...and they are. But they're the basic difference between "being" (in the campiest sense) and well.....not. Everything else seems so....subject to change. I have no idea what I'm going to feel like about the potential career that I'm studying so hard for right now but I've got to be doing something now don't I. I may renounce art forever and only communicate in binary for the next twelve years. Don't take yourselves so seriously Columbians.
Maybe its people's ATTITUDES towards living that I have a problem with. I don't know but I don't have plans to, or even a plan for someone else to change the world which is what keeps me well and comfortably clear of any -isms that might try and creep their way into my thought process. I'm just not that invested. So who knows if I'm currently creating some all-encompassing SUPER-ISM that transcends philosophy, or if I'm just too non-commital to invest enough concern for others to generate a life option complete with rules and ditties, and meals plans and things.
Whatever you think and whatever you do, just don't be a douche.
Or do...but I'll be watching.
Not that it matters.
xx
11.16.2009
Update
Blogger's PMSing right now. Formats shit all in a weird way that its not in the preview so I can't fix it. Will later. Read it anyway.
Columbi-back(ish)
Well well well.....look who's back
my sanity. kind of.
There's just about a drillion things that have happened to me since I last posted (ages ago) and I keep having these moments where I'm like, "god I should blog about that" because it's particularly obnoxious or disgusting or generally reminds of the distinct contempt I have for humans as a race but I've also been very, very tired. So I haven't.
On that note...there are a few great things that the big man upstairs has thrown my way (his name's Eric...lives in 6F). ALLL joking aside though, I'm not religious but sometimes you have to sit your hungover ass down and just admit that you are not directly responsible for approximately 83% of what happens to you on a day to day basis. And God forbid <--there I go again that I concede that responsibility to any of the other freaks I have the pleasure of sharing this unique blue marble with SO...God, Jove, Allah, that whisp of smoke that looked suspiciously like the Acne wedges I'm dying for, don't let me down.
On to other and other things....CU Records is going fab, we're in talks with people who could potentially make us freaking awesome so just uh....just stand by for that.
My loan is also about to come through so potentially....POTENTIALLY...I won't be the poorest person you know in a few days. Got' damn money right? I was just reading this essay about how money's the cause of just about all the douchery in the world. I'm of the opinion that it would have never caused a problem if people didn't have some innate douchebaggery that made us all go ape at the thought of hording little gold coins but......what in the world do I know.
Speaking of money....and how even though I hate it I am also battling (not very hard) a pretty intense shopping addiction....I present to you: three objects of my deepest affection right now.
ONE
TWO
THREE
If you failed to notice the price tag on that last one I invite you to look again. And then find out where your great Aunt Greta keeps her millions.
Okaysopicoftheday
Episode Thirty-?: As you (hopefully) know, the 20th anniversary of the Berlin Wall's coming down just passed so here's a few restorations of original murals
Oh...and PS:
If your class isn't a fucking enormous lecture of epic proportions stop bringing your fucking laptop and ruining everyone's day by clicking your fucking waterfall of clicky clicks on your damn keys. Get a pad and fucking paper like everyone else you DOUCHE. My fucking god there is nothing that makes me want to throw up on mankind more than when a professor is trying to fucking talk and he says something that's obviously important and the second he gets three words out the room erupts into one of those rainmaker stick things that everyone had when they were 7 (I bejeweled mine). And so NOW that its a fucking tropical paradise during hurricane season in the room no one can hear the rest of his sentence. Next time you get your little laptop out you just really sit and pay attention to how loud you are. How loud and obnoxious. If you're busy typing his lecture verbatim all that's gonna happen is now you have to go through and read the ENTIRE transcript because you couldn't have POSSIBLY actually been listening and understanding a single thing you pretentious cunt. UNFORTUNATELY now you're gonna go and get a 90 on the test because you spit up enough key-terms that you were busy highlighting while the rest of us who actually want to develop a MASTRY of our subject continue on to fail because they tried to tune out your rapidfire "note taking" (congratulations you type 234987235 words a minute I'll tell Mavis Beacon) and fell asleep because they over-tuned.
FUCK.
my sanity. kind of.
There's just about a drillion things that have happened to me since I last posted (ages ago) and I keep having these moments where I'm like, "god I should blog about that" because it's particularly obnoxious or disgusting or generally reminds of the distinct contempt I have for humans as a race but I've also been very, very tired. So I haven't.
On that note...there are a few great things that the big man upstairs has thrown my way (his name's Eric...lives in 6F). ALLL joking aside though, I'm not religious but sometimes you have to sit your hungover ass down and just admit that you are not directly responsible for approximately 83% of what happens to you on a day to day basis. And God forbid <--there I go again that I concede that responsibility to any of the other freaks I have the pleasure of sharing this unique blue marble with SO...God, Jove, Allah, that whisp of smoke that looked suspiciously like the Acne wedges I'm dying for, don't let me down.
On to other and other things....CU Records is going fab, we're in talks with people who could potentially make us freaking awesome so just uh....just stand by for that.
My loan is also about to come through so potentially....POTENTIALLY...I won't be the poorest person you know in a few days. Got' damn money right? I was just reading this essay about how money's the cause of just about all the douchery in the world. I'm of the opinion that it would have never caused a problem if people didn't have some innate douchebaggery that made us all go ape at the thought of hording little gold coins but......what in the world do I know.
Speaking of money....and how even though I hate it I am also battling (not very hard) a pretty intense shopping addiction....I present to you: three objects of my deepest affection right now.
ONE
TWO
THREE
If you failed to notice the price tag on that last one I invite you to look again. And then find out where your great Aunt Greta keeps her millions.
Okaysopicoftheday
Episode Thirty-?: As you (hopefully) know, the 20th anniversary of the Berlin Wall's coming down just passed so here's a few restorations of original murals
Oh...and PS:
If your class isn't a fucking enormous lecture of epic proportions stop bringing your fucking laptop and ruining everyone's day by clicking your fucking waterfall of clicky clicks on your damn keys. Get a pad and fucking paper like everyone else you DOUCHE. My fucking god there is nothing that makes me want to throw up on mankind more than when a professor is trying to fucking talk and he says something that's obviously important and the second he gets three words out the room erupts into one of those rainmaker stick things that everyone had when they were 7 (I bejeweled mine). And so NOW that its a fucking tropical paradise during hurricane season in the room no one can hear the rest of his sentence. Next time you get your little laptop out you just really sit and pay attention to how loud you are. How loud and obnoxious. If you're busy typing his lecture verbatim all that's gonna happen is now you have to go through and read the ENTIRE transcript because you couldn't have POSSIBLY actually been listening and understanding a single thing you pretentious cunt. UNFORTUNATELY now you're gonna go and get a 90 on the test because you spit up enough key-terms that you were busy highlighting while the rest of us who actually want to develop a MASTRY of our subject continue on to fail because they tried to tune out your rapidfire "note taking" (congratulations you type 234987235 words a minute I'll tell Mavis Beacon) and fell asleep because they over-tuned.
FUCK.
10.24.2009
A Brief Notice
So it turns out that I don't even have one thing to say today...
That's a lie but I'm not interested in clinking away on these keys right now I just wanted a reason to put these fantastic illustrations up
:)
Pic of the Day!
Episode 34: Wolfgang Joop
I can't believe these are all by the same guy they're all distinctly fantastic to me.
That's a lie but I'm not interested in clinking away on these keys right now I just wanted a reason to put these fantastic illustrations up
:)
Pic of the Day!
Episode 34: Wolfgang Joop
I can't believe these are all by the same guy they're all distinctly fantastic to me.
10.21.2009
Hey. So.
In all fairness I'm not actually studying anything besides Early Italian art still and still but for the sake of sparing you from the Ducciesque <--this is indeed an adjective, the Byzantine, and the Martini, Lornzetti, Margaritone, Giottini mindfuck that I've been champing through here in the 3rd floor computer lab in Lerner I'll talk about something else.
Art, Media, and the Avant-Garde (AHIS W3770)
Well.
I don't even really know what to say in these ridiculous people's defense aside from the fact that they were discovering a new technology.
I mean...the minute you say avant-garde to (anyone normal) they go "omgdieidratherperishthanwatchthatninehourfilm". Which is a natural response to any nine hour film but in actuality not only did people apparently not have shit else to do in the early 1900s, but this was the novelest of shit at that point.
I mean brand-ass new. Like, nothing had ever moved on a screen ever before this time. Like "holy-shit-I-can't-believe-my-bourgeois-eyes-this-is-innovative (pronounced inNOVative)-as-fuck" new. It's like someone inventing the hologram (which I think they did and broadcasted something from somewhere to another place with it), and then in a hundred years they're like, "why the FUCK would you put a just sit and watch a hologram when all they do is lurk around and livestream comments from everyone you know but can't keep in touch with every second".
That was a horrendous example and I wish I could take it back but this is a relatively live blog so whatever you get, you get.
But you get my point. I hope.
The point is that Maholy-Nagy, and Hans Richter, and Whatever-it-was van Doesburg were just looking for the next big thing. Which they found....and experimented with. The key word here is experimented. These are experiments. They weren't like, "damn we know just about all there is to know about film and its cinematic possibilities but we're gonna loop this washer woman for 3 minutes instead".
That is not what happened. They were trying to figure this shit out so that you could see and interact with art in a different way. And the world for that matter. They didn't do it so that YOU TOO...in this day and age of CG and all the fantastic things that film can do (that I know nothing about so don't even pretend i'm being pretentious) can utilize the ever-reaching new horizon of film. Not so that you could pull a washer-woman on everybody in the "style of the avant-garde".
Maholy-Nagy wanted to create something from literally nothing. Something that no one had ever experienced before.
Hans Richter wanted to experience the abstract in a WAY that no one had ever seen before.
August Sander wanted to exhibit the German people in a way that no one had really seen before.
They weren't like, "yeahhhh...got all this great technology so we're gonna just do dumb things with it". That makes no sense. I mean NOW it seems like the most ridiculous of things. I'm not watching a 5 hour movie of Leger's girlfriend smiling then not smiling and other things that are now so infinitesimally boring that we assume these people were a bunch of crackpots who just wanted to give everyone seizures with their flicker films.
*breath.*
Okay so lab's closing and so is my brain.
Pic of the day!
Ep 33: DA user PRETTYLINES
In all fairness I'm not actually studying anything besides Early Italian art still and still but for the sake of sparing you from the Ducciesque <--this is indeed an adjective, the Byzantine, and the Martini, Lornzetti, Margaritone, Giottini mindfuck that I've been champing through here in the 3rd floor computer lab in Lerner I'll talk about something else.
Art, Media, and the Avant-Garde (AHIS W3770)
Well.
I don't even really know what to say in these ridiculous people's defense aside from the fact that they were discovering a new technology.
I mean...the minute you say avant-garde to (anyone normal) they go "omgdieidratherperishthanwatchthatninehourfilm". Which is a natural response to any nine hour film but in actuality not only did people apparently not have shit else to do in the early 1900s, but this was the novelest of shit at that point.
I mean brand-ass new. Like, nothing had ever moved on a screen ever before this time. Like "holy-shit-I-can't-believe-my-bourgeois-eyes-this-is-innovative (pronounced inNOVative)-as-fuck" new. It's like someone inventing the hologram (which I think they did and broadcasted something from somewhere to another place with it), and then in a hundred years they're like, "why the FUCK would you put a just sit and watch a hologram when all they do is lurk around and livestream comments from everyone you know but can't keep in touch with every second".
That was a horrendous example and I wish I could take it back but this is a relatively live blog so whatever you get, you get.
But you get my point. I hope.
The point is that Maholy-Nagy, and Hans Richter, and Whatever-it-was van Doesburg were just looking for the next big thing. Which they found....and experimented with. The key word here is experimented. These are experiments. They weren't like, "damn we know just about all there is to know about film and its cinematic possibilities but we're gonna loop this washer woman for 3 minutes instead".
That is not what happened. They were trying to figure this shit out so that you could see and interact with art in a different way. And the world for that matter. They didn't do it so that YOU TOO...in this day and age of CG and all the fantastic things that film can do (that I know nothing about so don't even pretend i'm being pretentious) can utilize the ever-reaching new horizon of film. Not so that you could pull a washer-woman on everybody in the "style of the avant-garde".
Maholy-Nagy wanted to create something from literally nothing. Something that no one had ever experienced before.
Hans Richter wanted to experience the abstract in a WAY that no one had ever seen before.
August Sander wanted to exhibit the German people in a way that no one had really seen before.
They weren't like, "yeahhhh...got all this great technology so we're gonna just do dumb things with it". That makes no sense. I mean NOW it seems like the most ridiculous of things. I'm not watching a 5 hour movie of Leger's girlfriend smiling then not smiling and other things that are now so infinitesimally boring that we assume these people were a bunch of crackpots who just wanted to give everyone seizures with their flicker films.
*breath.*
Okay so lab's closing and so is my brain.
Pic of the day!
Ep 33: DA user PRETTYLINES
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